Jokes Collected From Emails

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning . I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me . As it turned out, she barely said good morning,let alone "Happy Birthday . " I thought . . . Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids . . . They will remember . My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word . So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent . As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered . I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me . " I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest...

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. " Hello ? " "Is your daddy home?" he asked. " Yes , " whispered the small voice. May I talk with him?" The child whispered, " No . " Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" " Yes . " "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, " No . " Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" " Yes , " whispered the child, " a policeman . " Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" " No, he's busy , " whispered the child. "Busy doing what?...

TO THE MARRIED FOLKS, and a preview to the not-married ones! Have a laugh Guys and Girls who can handle this too... When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman "I don't worry about ter...