Jokes Collected From Emails

>Before marriage. . > Darling here.. darling there... >After marriage. > Baling here... baling there.. > >Before marriage. . >I die for you. . . >After marriage. >"You die, up to you. " >Lagi lama married. . >You die I help you! > >Before marriage. . >You go anywhere. . I follow you. >After marriage. . . >You go anywhere. . up to you . >Lagi lama married. . . >You go anywhere better get lost!! > >Before wedding >you are my heart, you are my love" >After wedding >"you get on my nerves. " > >Before wedding >"you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella" >After wedding >"you are worse than godzila" > >Before wedding >Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you >After wedding >Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you > >Before wedding >Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La >After weddin

> A Professor was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:- > 1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: >"I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing. > 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. >One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: >"He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising. > 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her >telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. >Marry me." - That's Telemarketing. > 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten >your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the >door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, >offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - >That's Public Relations. > 5. You&

> American Spaceman is called Astronaut > Russian Spaceman is called Cosmonaut > Chinese Spaceman is called Taikonaut > > Malaysian Spaceman? - Can-or-naut! > > > Dr. M was thinking about sending somebody into space. Three potential > can-a-nauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one > Chinese. > > Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous > mission. How much do you think you should be paid?" > > Muthu replied: "One million ringgit." > "Why so much?" asks Dr. M. > "Very dangerous mission, Datuk. Maybe no come back!" replied Muthu. > > "That's understandable," says Dr. M. "Thank you...please ask the Malay > guy to come here," > > So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question. > > "Alamak!...2 million, Datuk," replied the Malay candidate. > > "Two million? That's twice as m

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island The two fought and one KILLED the other to have the lady. Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island They both had the lady TOGETHER. Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island They killed the lady to have EACH OTHER. Two Indonesian men and a lady stranded on a desert island The first man claimed that island is independent and took the lady as his advisor. The second man swam to another island to search for jobs. Two Thai men and a lady stranded on a desert island The first man rented the lady to the second man for 2 baht a night. Two Filipino men and a lady stranded on a desert island The first man kidnapped the lady and asked for ransom from the other man. Two Malaysian men and a lady stranded on a desert island The lady ACCUSED the first man of sodomising the other because she was rejected by both. And finally.... Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island The two men are still waiting for

8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed 28 - You don't need to tell her any story and take her to bed 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed 58 - You stay in bed all day to avoid her story

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans 2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money 3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex 4. It is very important that these three women never met!