No Escape

> A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he
> came upon a small house.
> He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient
> Chinese man with a long
> grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put
> me up for the night?"
>
> "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one
> condition. If you so much as
> lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you
> the three worst Chinese
> tortures known to man."
>
> "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must
> be pretty old as well,
> and entered the house.
>
> Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs.
> She was young, beautiful,
> and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously
> attracted to the young man
> since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the
> meal. Remembering the
> old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed
> alone. But during he
> night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into
> her room for a night of
> passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so
> the old man wouldn't
> hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room,
> exhausted, but happy.
>
> He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his
> eyes he saw a large
> rock on his chest with a note on it that read,
> "Chinese Torture 1: Large
> rock on chest."
>
> "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's
> the best the old man
> can do then I don't have much to worry about." He
> picked the boulder up,
> walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.
> As he did so he noticed
> another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2:
> Rock tied to left testicle
> "
>
> In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was
> already getting close
> to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was
> better than castration, he
> jumped out of the window after the boulder.
>
> As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the
> ground that read,
> Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
>

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