Questions and Answers..

Teacher: "Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?"
Simon: "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"

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Teacher: "Your hair is very untidy. Why did you not comb it before coming to school?"
Boy: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Boy: "No hair, Sir."

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Teacher: "Where were you born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir ."

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Teacher: "Chong, you missed school last Friday."
Chong : "You're wrong, Sir."
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

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Father: "Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!"
Son: "That's why I say she's no good!"

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Teacher: "Class, what is the difference between'unlawful' and
'illegal'?"
Joan: " 'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal" is a sick eagle."

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Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."
Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24
hours to live."
Patient: "24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse? What's the
very bad news?"
Doctor : "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

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Patient: "How much to have this tooth pulled?"
Dentist: "$90.00."
Patient: "$90.00 for just a few minutes work???"
Dentist: "I can extract it very slowly if you like."

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1st thief : "Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window"
2nd thief : "But this is the 13th floor."
1st thief : "Hurry! This is no time for superstitions."

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Wife: "Do you love me?"
Husband: "Yes, dear."
Wife: "Would you die for me?"
Husband: "No, dear. Mine is undying love."



When I read about the effect of smoking in the newspaper, I stop smoking!
When I read about the effect of alcohol in the newspaper, I stop drinking!
When I read about the effect of sex in the newspaper, I stop reading newspaper!

_________________

2 employees were caught naked and having sex in the office by the guard.
GUARD : Aha! Violating company rules!
MAN : What rule?
GUARD : Not wearing uniforms.


_______________

A husband was asked : Do you talk to you wife after sex?
His answer : Depends, if I can find a phone.

___________________

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