3- Minute Management Course
>> >6 EASY LESSONS
>> >
>> >Lesson 1
>> >
>> >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
>>her
>> >shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
>>in a Towel
>> >and runs downstairs.
>> >
>> >When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door
>>neighbor.
>> >Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop
>>that towel."
>> >After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
>>naked in
>> >Front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
>> >
>> >The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When
>>she gets
>> >to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
>>the next
>> >door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "
>> >did he
>> >say anything about the £800 he owes me
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
>>with your
>> >shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
>>avoidable
>> >exposure
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 2
>> >
>> >A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
>>forcing her
>> >gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
>>Controlling
>> >the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>> >
>> >The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed
>>his hand.
>> >But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The
>>nun Once
>> >again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised
>>"Sorry
>> >sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun
>>went on her
>> >way.
>> >
>> >On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm
>>129. It
>> >said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
>> >glory."
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
>> >opportunity
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 3
>> >
>> >A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
>>to Lunch
>> >when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
>>out.
>> >
>> >The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first!
>>Me
>> >first!"
>> >says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a
>>speedboat,
>> >without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
>> >
>> >"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
>>Relaxing
>> >on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
>>Coladas
>> >and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
>> >
>> >"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
>>"I Want
>> >those two back in the office after lunch."
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >Always let your boss have the first
>> >say
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 4
>> >
>> >An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
>>rabbit Saw
>> >the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
>>nothing?"
>> >The
>> >eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
>>below The
>> >eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the
>>rabbit and
>> >ate it.
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
>>high up
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 5
>> >
>> >A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
>>get to The
>> >top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
>>energy."
>> >"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
>>bull.
>> >They're packed with nutrients."
>> >
>> >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
>>him Enough
>> >strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
>>after eating
>> >some
>> >more dung, he reached the second branch.
>> >
>> >Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at
>>the top Of
>> >the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him dead.
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 6
>> >
>> >A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
>>bird
>> >Froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
>>lying there,
>> >a Cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>> >
>> >As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
>>Realize
>> >how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
>>there all
>> >warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
>> >
>> >A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate...
>> >Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
>>of cow
>> >dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
>> >him.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >(1) Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy
>> >
>> >(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh** is your friend
>> >
>> >(3) And when you're in deep sh**, it's best to keep your mouth
>>shut!
>> >
>> >This ends the 3-minute management course !
>> >
>>--
>> >
>> >Lesson 1
>> >
>> >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
>>her
>> >shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself
>>in a Towel
>> >and runs downstairs.
>> >
>> >When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door
>>neighbor.
>> >Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop
>>that towel."
>> >After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
>>naked in
>> >Front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
>> >
>> >The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When
>>she gets
>> >to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
>>the next
>> >door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "
>> >did he
>> >say anything about the £800 he owes me
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk
>>with your
>> >shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
>>avoidable
>> >exposure
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 2
>> >
>> >A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
>>forcing her
>> >gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
>>Controlling
>> >the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>> >
>> >The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed
>>his hand.
>> >But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The
>>nun Once
>> >again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologised
>>"Sorry
>> >sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun
>>went on her
>> >way.
>> >
>> >On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm
>>129. It
>> >said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
>> >glory."
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
>> >opportunity
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 3
>> >
>> >A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking
>>to Lunch
>> >when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
>>out.
>> >
>> >The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first!
>>Me
>> >first!"
>> >says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a
>>speedboat,
>> >without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
>> >
>> >"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
>>Relaxing
>> >on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
>>Coladas
>> >and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
>> >
>> >"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
>>"I Want
>> >those two back in the office after lunch."
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >Always let your boss have the first
>> >say
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 4
>> >
>> >An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
>>rabbit Saw
>> >the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
>>nothing?"
>> >The
>> >eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
>>below The
>> >eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the
>>rabbit and
>> >ate it.
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
>>high up
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 5
>> >
>> >A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
>>get to The
>> >top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
>>energy."
>> >"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
>>bull.
>> >They're packed with nutrients."
>> >
>> >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
>>him Enough
>> >strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
>>after eating
>> >some
>> >more dung, he reached the second branch.
>> >
>> >Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at
>>the top Of
>> >the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him dead.
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >Bulls**t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Lesson 6
>> >
>> >A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the
>>bird
>> >Froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
>>lying there,
>> >a Cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>> >
>> >As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
>>Realize
>> >how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
>>there all
>> >warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
>> >
>> >A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate...
>> >Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
>>of cow
>> >dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
>> >him.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Moral of the story:
>> >
>> >(1) Not everyone who sh**s on you is your enemy
>> >
>> >(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh** is your friend
>> >
>> >(3) And when you're in deep sh**, it's best to keep your mouth
>>shut!
>> >
>> >This ends the 3-minute management course !
>> >
>>--
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