Jokes Collected From Emails

    A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three 5 rupee coins to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face. The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the coins but is still choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and  sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter!!...

  Have a good laugh and enjoy yourself......   Subject:  Fwd: FW: Copper Wire - Good One!   COPPER WIRE After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back   200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more   than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British". One week later, the Dept of Minerals and Energy in  Malaysia , reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Central Kedah region, Mahatir Mohammed, a self-taught   archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mahatir has ...

  Who in the hell is Larry? Who in the hell is Larry? Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and: Linda, his wife says, Where the hell have you been? Larry replies: I was out getting a tattoo! A tattoo? she frowned. What kind of tattoo did you get? I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates, he said proudly. What the hell were you thinking? She said, shaking her head in disgust. Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates? Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want. Larry is in the hospital, room 233.

  A man is watching a game of golf on TV. But he keeps switching channels to an X rated movie featuring a lusty couple having sex. "I don't know whether to watch them or the game", he says to his wife. "For Heaven's sake, watch them," his wife says "You already know how to play golf!"   Here is somethign to laugh about.... 1 . Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him. 2 . There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell. 3 . A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing : "You can have mine." 4 . When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. 5.  It's easy to tell if a man is married ...

  Hello guys,   Dare u to tell ur other half.........   Hahahahaha............   KC Subject:  Fw: :*: ABCDEFGH-IJK... --- A wife asked her husband to describe her.   He said "You're  A B C D E F G H I J K ."   She said "What's that mean?"  He said  " Adorable Beautiful Cute  Delightful  Elegant Foxy Gorgeous Hot ."   She said "Ooohh that's so lovely - but what about  I J K?"   "I'm. Just. Kidding."

  “THE LIE DETECTOR”   A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie.  He decides to test it at dinner. Dad: "Son, where were you today during school hours?"  SON: "At school." Robot slaps son! "Ok, I lied, I went to the movies."  DAD: "Which one?" SON: "Toy Story." Robot slaps son again! "Ok, it was “A Day with a Porn Star."  DAD: "What?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was".  Robot slaps Dad! MOM: "Ha, ha! After all he's your son." Robot slaps mom.