Fwd: "One day Najib walks into Maybank to cash a cheque..."

 

One day Najib walks into Maybank to cash a cheque. Normally he would have instructed his own staff to do such a menial task but since he badly wanted all the attention he could muster – and sign a few autographs along the way – he decided it was best he visited the bank himself and be seen to do what most ordinary folks do.

Upon entering the bank, the conversation goes as follows:

(looking pleased as punch and expecting to be instantly recognised)

Najib: Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?

Cashier: It would be my pleasure, sir, but could you please show me some identification first?

Najib: Frankly I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn’t think it was necessary. I’m sure you know who I am, correct?

Cashier: Well there are a lot of people who look like a lot of people, sir…

(not terribly amused by now)

Najib: Well! I am of course Najib, the Prime Minister of Malaysia!! Really how is it that you don’t know who I am!?

Cashier: Sir, it doesn’t matter whether or not I know who you are. I’m only an employee here and there are regulations that the bank imposes that we must follow regardless of who we serve. As you know banks are burdened by imposters, forgers, con men etc. So in accordance to banking regulations, I must insist on seeing your identification.

Najib: Just ask anyone here at the bank! I’m sure when they know who I am, they will not encumber me with your stupid regulations! EVERYBODY knows who I am!

Cashier: Aiyo…we have rules la….don’t make me lose my job la….I must follow these rules….

(getting very flustered by now)

Najib: I am urging you to PLEASE cash my cheque…now!

Cashier: Okay, sir, look here…this is what we can do. Hear me out..

Najib: MMMMPRFT!!!! (getting very impatient now and tapping his feet)

Cashier: One day Siti Nurhaliza came into the bank without identification. To prove her identity, she belted out a Celine Dion number and we knew instantly it was her because she sang it so horribly. Her English was hopeless. So we cashed her cheque without a problem.

Najib: But I can’t sing!!!!

Cashier: Another time, Lee Chong Wei came in also without identification. He pulled out his badminton racquet and made a fabulous shot, firing the shuttle right into my manager’s ass! With his world famous precision and court craft, we knew instantly it was him and we cashed his cheque too.

Najib: But I can’t play badminton!!! (looking desperate now)

Cashier: So what can you do to prove that it is you and only you? Since you say you are the Prime Minister of Malaysia, surely you can tell me or act out something that proves who you are to me.

(He stands there thinking and thinking…)

Najib: Honestly there is nothing that comes to my mind. I don’t have a single clue! I can’t think of even one thing I can do or say or express to you!

Cashier: So Mr Prime Minister, would you like that in large or small bills?

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