4 of Life's most embarrassing moments

4th Place

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself,
right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the
eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissg Daddy's willie last
night.' After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of
my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The
last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of
laughter.




3rd Place

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggyback ride down to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got
to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole
crowd of people yelled 'SURPRISE'. My entire family parents, grand
parents, aunts, uncles, cousins as well as my friends, were standing
there. My girlfriend and I were frozen on the spot in a state of shock
and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
in my family has planned any surprise parties.





2nd Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price
tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which boomed
out across the store for everyone to hear, "Price check for Tampax
supersize." But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood word 'Tampax' for 'Thumbtacks', and replied
in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same public
address system: 'Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or
the kind one you belt in with a hammer.




1st Place .

And the winner is . . ..

This happened at a major Australian University, during a biology
lecture. A professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in
semen. A young woman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand you
correctly, you are saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in
sugar?" The professor responded, yes, that's correct adding some
statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why
doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class
burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red, and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up her
books, and without another word, walked out of the class. However, as
she was heading for the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight faced, he answered her question. "It doesn't taste
sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
tongue and not in the back of your throat".

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