Here are five funny phone answering machine messages

(a). Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We
can't pick up the phone right now, because we're
doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to
right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when
we're done brushing our teeth we'l! l get back to
you.

(b). Hi, this is John. If you are the phone
company, I've already sent the money. If you are
my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me
enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me
money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money.

(c). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding
someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if
I don't call back, it's you.

(d). Please leave a message. However, you have
the right to remain silent. Everything you say
will be recorded and will be used by us.

(e). (Sexy female voice with heavy panting)..
Hi,you've reached 555-3456. John is in... (sigh)
Oh no, he's out... (aah) Yes, he's in again...
(ooh) No he's out... (aah) Why don't you just
leave your name and number and he'll call you as
soon as he...comes

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