drunk and fall down

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call, the drunk stood up
to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time,
to the same result.

He figured he'd crawl outside to get some fresh air, since maybe that
would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his
face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.

When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his
bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell
right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the
pillow.

He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So you've been
out drinking again, have you?!"

"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best innocent
expression.

"The pub called... you forgot your wheelchair again."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

THOSE WHO ARE BORN IN THE 50s and 60s/ early '70s in Msia

First, we survived with mothers who had no maids. They cooked /cleaned while taking care of us at the same time. They took aspirin, candies floss,fizzy drinks, shaved ice with syrups and diabetes were rare. Salt added to Pepsi or Coke was remedy for fever. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention As children, we would ride with our parents on bicycles/ motorcycles for 2 or 3. Richer ones in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a private taxi was a special treat. We drank water from the tap and NOT from a bottle. We would spend hours on the fields under bright sunlight flying our kites, without worrying about the UV ray which never seem to affect us. We go to jungle to catch spiders without worries of Aedes mosquitoes. With mere 5 pebbles (stones) would be a endless game. With a ball (tennis ball best) we boys would ran like crazy for hours. We catch guppy in
Read more

discussions on an airplane

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barak Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles. "OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and say
Read more

2 cute boys

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are  probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he  would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the  older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The  preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the  younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "
Read more