Jokes Collected From Emails

Ah Beng was on a motorbike with Ah Lian after a durian shopping trip. Ah Lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians when they rode over a hump, Ah Beng heard a loud bang. He asked Ah Lian: 'Lewlian wu kalau boh?(durians got dropped or not?).' Ah Lian shouted: 'boh kalau lah!' So Ah Beng continued with the journey. When they reached home, Ah Beng got down from his motobike and was shocked to see that Ah Lian was not wearing a helmet. He asked Ah Lian: 'Where is your helmet?' Ah Lian was very angry and replied: 'Just now I already told you 'boh kalau' (helmet drop)!'

> This is a story about Ahbeng in search of a wife with the help of his > mother, Ahkew. One day Ahbeng's mother bring home 3 pretty girls and > introduce to Ahbeng. > The 3 pretty girls name and occupation : > 1.) Ahuey - Telephonist > 2.) Ahmoi - Primary Skool Teacher > 3.) Ahlian - Bus Conductor > > Ahbeng very sexcited lar of course then after a while of > > > chatting with the girls his mother asked him. > > Ahkew : Ahbeng, how ? Which one you like the most ? > Ahbeng : I like Ahlian the most > Ahkew : Aiyoh bus conductor only wor! where got future wan? Ahmoi not bad > leh! gomen work you know? good benefit, next time your children wanna goto > skool also easy > Ahbeng : Ahmah dunwan laaa!! > Ahkew : Why dunwan? > Ahbeng : bcoz skool teacher they love to say "PLEASE REPEAT!! DO AGAIN!!! > I Want it done 10 times...SOME MORE, SOME MORE!" Like this very tiring > everynite I can die one ahmah! > Ah...

>Story 1 >Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh? >Ah Chek: Lu siao ah! Stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one. > >Story 2 >Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. >So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend. >"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!" >Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian. >"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!" >Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!" >So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the >accelerator. The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into >the lamp-post. "Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see la! Wah >Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng. >"Solee, solee, pai sah la! No lah, I tot hor, "R" ...

Dear Ah Lian, Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find. You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly. You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright. Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family. I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye..... Worm regard, Ah Beng