Jokes Collected From Emails

Ah Beng was on a motorbike with Ah Lian after a durian shopping trip. Ah Lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians when they rode over a hump, Ah Beng heard a loud bang. He asked Ah Lian: 'Lewlian wu kalau boh?(durians got dropped or not?).' Ah Lian shouted: 'boh kalau lah!' So Ah Beng continued with the journey. When they reached home, Ah Beng got down from his motobike and was shocked to see that Ah Lian was not wearing a helmet. He asked Ah Lian: 'Where is your helmet?' Ah Lian was very angry and replied: 'Just now I already told you 'boh kalau' (helmet drop)!'

>Story 1 >Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh? >Ah Chek: Lu siao ah! Stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one. > >Story 2 >Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. >So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend. >"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!" >Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian. >"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!" >Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!" >So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the >accelerator. The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into >the lamp-post. "Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see la! Wah >Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng. >"Solee, solee, pai sah la! No lah, I tot hor, "R" ...

One of the main reasons why in recent years the Singapore > Government has always ensured that their Miss Universe > representative were of tertiary level education or higher was > because of the following incident which occurred not too many > years ago. > It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 > finalists, > Miss USA, Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 > simple questions: > > MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance > starting with "L" > Miss USA: Lamp > Miss Malaysia: Light bulb > Miss Singapore: LADIO > Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter "L" > > MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an > animal starting...

Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Aiyoh, Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!" ______________________________ QUESTION: How do you know frogs are Hokkien? ANSWER : Because when it's cold, they go "kwah, kwah, kwah". QUESTION : How do Hokkien prawns laugh? ANSWER: Hae hae hae (Hokkien for prawns) QUEST...