Jokes Collected From Emails

If necessity is the mother of invention, then frustration is the father of masturbation! Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger! Life without friends is like boobs without nipples... POINTLESS! The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell the other: UNITED we are save, Divided we are fucked. Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes. Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you! All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy. The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's still got you by the balls

A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar in New Jersey when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night, he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a prostitute?" "Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?" "Well, I don't know. What do you charge?" "I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there." "$100!?! For a hand job? Are you nuts?" "You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on hand jobs. Trust me, it's worth it." ...