Jokes Collected From Emails

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning . I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me . As it turned out, she barely said good morning,let alone "Happy Birthday . " I thought . . . Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids . . . They will remember . My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word . So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent . As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered . I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me . " I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $6.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change. This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad." says the man. "Same for me." says the ostrich. A sh...