Jokes Collected From Emails

Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori: "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say "I am fine, and you ?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is .. When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said : "Who Are You ?". Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor : "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha..." Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha.." Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.

An American, Japanese and Chinese guy went for a hike one day. > >It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. > >When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and >jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded. >Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying >their "freedom." >As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town >appeared. >Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese >quickly used their hands to cover their privates. >But the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover. >After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on. >The American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face >rather than his private part. >The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the >face that people recognize."

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Bring to me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?" "No!" replied the Managing Director angrily. "Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone

4th Place While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself, right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma I saw you kissg Daddy's willie last night.' After this enlightening exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank, with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. 3rd Place It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making ...