Jokes Collected From Emails

> Hello?" > > "Hi honey, this is Daddy...is your Mummy near the > > phone?" > > "No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle > > Frank," > > After a brief pause Daddy says, > > "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!" > > "Oh Yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with > > Mummy, right now!" > > > > > "Uh Okay then......here's what I want you do. Put > > down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door > and shout to > > Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car just pulled up outside >the house." > > "Okay Daddy!" > > A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the > > phone. > > Well I did what you said, Daddy." > > "And what happened?" he asks. > > > > > "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with > > no clothes...

The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, sexy young lady! "You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me, the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house, I want a divorce!" The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened" "Hummmmm, I don't know, well it'll be the last thing I will hear from you. But make it fast, you unfaithful pig you" The husband begins to tell his story . . . "While driving home this young lady asks for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion and hurt, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afra...

>>The 1st Affair: >> >>A married man was having an affair with his secretary. >>One day they went her place and made love all >>afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. >>The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take >>his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. >>He put on his shoes and drove home. >>"Where have you been?" his wife demanded. >>"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my >>secretary. >>We had sex all afternoon." >>"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!" >> >> >>The 2nd Affair: >>A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but >>always talked about >>having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they >>always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby >>boy.The joyful father rushed to the nursery to...