Jokes Collected From Emails

>Who is clever ? Teacher or student?? One Night 4 College Students Were >Playing Till Late Night And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled >For The Next Day.In the morning they thought of a plan. They made >themselves look asdirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up >to the Dean andsaid that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on >their returnthe tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all >the wayback and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.So >the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and >said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before >the Dean. The Dean said that asthis was a Special Condition Test, All four >were required to sit inseperate classrooms for the test.They all agreed as >they had prepared well in the last 3 days. The Test consisted of 2 questions >with the total of 100 Marks. Q.1. Your Name.....................

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. " Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. Each one tried his best not to puke. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger. Now learn to pay ...

> > > > Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about > what > had happened in the past. > > Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. > > Teacher: Why? > > Student: There is no future in it. > > ................................................................. > > > > Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how > much > would your father still have? > > Ted: $10. > > Teacher: You don't know maths. > > Ted: You don't know my father! > > > ...................................................................... > > > > Mother: David, come here. > > David: Yes, mum? > > Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. > > David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow. > > Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am > scolding you now. > > ...

A first-grade teacher, Ms Anna (Age 22) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked the boy, 'what is your problem?' The boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!' Ms Anna had enough. She took the boy to the principal's office. While the boy waited at the reception of the office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Anna he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?' Boy: '9'. Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?' Boy: '36'. So it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Anna and tells her, 'I think...