Just For Laughs

> >
> > Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about
> what
> had happened in the past.
> > Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> > Teacher: Why?
> > Student: There is no future in it.
> > .................................................................
> >
> > Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how
> much
> would your father still have?
> > Ted: $10.
> > Teacher: You don't know maths.
> > Ted: You don't know my father!
> >
> ......................................................................
> >
> > Mother: David, come here.
> > David: Yes, mum?
> > Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> > David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> > Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
> scolding you now.
> >
> ......................................................................
> >
> > Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> > Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> > Father: So?
> > Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
> > If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
> >
> ......................................................................
> >
> > A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter
> were
> > watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
> breaking plates,
> > then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
> >
> > Daughter: It's mummy!
> > Father: How do you know?
> > Daughter: She didn't say anything.
> >
> ......................................................................
> >
> > Girl: Do you love me?
> > Boy: Yes Dear
> > Girl: Would you die for me?
> > Boy: No, mine is undying love
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Man: How old is your father?
> > Boy: As old as me
> > Man: How can that be?
> > Boy: He became a father only when I was born
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> > Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
> >
> > ------------------------------------------
> >
> > Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
> your
> > brother's. Did u copy his?
> > Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
> anything!
> > Son: That's why I say she's no good!
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Teacher: "Where were u born?"
> > Student: " Singapore , Sir."
> > Teacher: "Which part?"
> > Student: "All of me, Sir."
> > ----------------------------------------------------
> > A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between
> 'unlawful'
> > and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
> > "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
> > "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and
> 'illegal' is
> > a sick eagle."
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------------
> > Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
> > Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
> > Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
> > Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> > "What did u get?" asked his father.
> > "My marks are under water," said the boy.
> > "What do u mean 'under water'?"
> > "They are all below 'C' (sea) level"

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