Malaysian Jokes

> > >1) Malaysian Jokes
> > >
> > >THE GENIE
> > >
> > >A drunkard jobless Indian stumbled onto a lamp. He rubbed on it and a
> > >magical genie Singh with a turban appeared and said "I grant you two
> > >wishes,
> > >Macha.."
> > >
> > >The Indian thought for a while and said "OK, I want to be rich like a
> > >Chinaman!
> > >Poof! When the smoke disappeared, the Indian was smartly dressed, hair
> > >jelled and combed back like Chow Yuen Fatt complete with handphone in
>hand.
> > >As he walked towards his brand new shiny Mercedes, he noticed his own
> > >reflection.
> > >
> > >Not only was he smartly dressed, he was also much fairer in complexion.
> > >The shocked Indian angrily summoned the genie and complained "Are you
> > >deaf or what? I said I wanted to be rich like a Chinaman, not become a
> > >Chinaman!"
> > >
> > >I don't want to be a Chinaman because they cheat, lie and con their way
>to
> > >become rich..."
> > >
> > >The genie reminded him that he's entitled to one more wish "What do you
> > >want then, Muthu?"
> > >To which Muthu quickly replied "I just want to be rich and I don't want
>to
> > >work!"
> > >
> > >Poof! He was transformed into a Bumiputra...
> > >
> > >---------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >THE PRINTING PRESS
> > >
> > >What do you get when you put 100 Chinamen under a printing press?
> > >The Yellow Pages
> > >
> > >What do you get when you put 100 Indians under a printing press? A
> > >year's supply of carbon paper.
> > >
> > >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >WHEN YOU DRIVE A PROTON SAGA ...................
> > >
> > >What's the first thing that come to your mind when you see a Chinese man
> > >driving a BMW?
> > >A pimp.
> > >
> > >What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Malay man
> > >driving a BMW?
> > >Ahmad.
> > >
> > >What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see an Indian man
> > >driving a BMW?
> > >
> > >A car jockey.
> > >
> > >What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Bhai
>driving
> > >a BMW?
> > >A car repossessor.
> > >
> >
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >
> > >2) Joke on Singapore
> > >
> > >Once during the gulf war, the President of USA, and the Prime Ministers
>of
> > >UK and Singapore were travelling on a warship that was cruising near
> > >S.Arabia.
> > >
> > >The 3 were talking about how brave their soldiers were; their discussion
> > >soon turned into an argument where each wanted to prove the bravery of
> > >their own soldiers.
> > >
> > >The Pres. of USA said, "let me show u what is guts", where upon he called
> > >his Colonel and said "Jump into the sea and swim 3 rounds around this
> > >ship!". The Colonel replied "Anything for Uncle Sam, Sir", jumped into
> > >the shark infested sea and swam 3 rounds around the ship, with the sharks
> > >chasing him like mad! After the successful 3 rounds, the Colonel came
> > >up to the deck and said, "I did it for Uncle Sam Mr. President!". The
> > >proud US President replied "That's what I call guts!".
> > >
> > >The Prime Minister of UK was pissed. He had to show. He called his
> > >3-star General and said "General, jump into the sea and swim 10 rounds
> > >around This ship!". The General replied "Anything for the Queen, Sir",
> > >jumped into
> > >the shark infested sea and swam 10 rounds around the ship, with the
>sharks
> > >chasing him like gila!(lunatic). After the successful 10 rounds the
>3-star
> > >General came up to the deck and said, "Long Live the Queen!".
> > >The proud UK PM replied "That's what I call guts!"
> > >
> > >The Prime Minister of Singapore cannot tahan. He had to show that his
> > >soldiers have it too. He called one of his Private, Ah Beng and said
> > >"Soldier, jump into the sea and swim 50 rounds around this ship!".
> > >The Private replied "Oi, you siao(crazy) izzit? I juz bought my condo and
>I
> > >Am paying through my nose. Now, U want me to jump and die? If u want to
> > >Hao lian (show off), you jump into the sea yourself ! @#*&%F!........
> > >The Singapore PM grinned and said "Now,that's what I call guts!"

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