Jokes Collected From Emails

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going?" ( You're gonna love this..... ) She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!

> > > > >>> > >>A husband and wife were travelling by car from Key West to > > > > >>> > >>Boston. After almost 24 hours on the road, they're too > > > > >>> > >>tired to continue, and decided to stop for a rest. They > > > > >>> > >>stopped at a nice hotel, but they only planned to sleep > > > > >>> > >>for 4 hours to get back on the road again. > > > > >>> > >> > > > > >>> > >>When they checked out 4 hours later, the desk clerk handed > > > > >>> > >>them a bill for $350. > > > > >>> > >> > > > > >>> > >>The man exploded & demanded to know why the charge was so > > > > >>> > >>high. Below is the interesting arguement. > > > > >>> ...

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father, good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them. Once again the two priests se...