Jokes Collected From Emails

Chinese Wisdom In the Chinese language, the word "LAO" 老 means old. It also has the connotation of "experienced" or "seasoned". An experienced or seasoned person can be an expert in manipulation, as shown in the following illustrations: Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head 2. To plant someone's money in your own pocket. Achieving any one of the above is difficult. But there are people, with the title of LAO, can achieve one or both: 1. He who succeeds in planting his idea in someone's head - we call Lao Shi (teacher) 2. He who succeeds in planting someone's money in his own pocket - we call Lao Ban (boss) 3. The one who succeeds in both - we call Lao Po (wife) or Lao Qian (trickster) 4. The one who fails in both - we call Lao Gong (husband) 

A matter of priorities. An Italian husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a Divorce!" "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, No more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. No more credit card and large Bank accounts. But.... The decision is all yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Tony?" asks the ...