Jokes Collected From Emails

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning . I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me . As it turned out, she barely said good morning,let alone "Happy Birthday . " I thought . . . Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids . . . They will remember . My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word . So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent . As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered . I worked until one o'clock ,when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me . " I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest...

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation. If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department. If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations. If they are sleeping. Put them in security. If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology. If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources. If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales. If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing. If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning...

>> >6 EASY LESSONS >> > >> >Lesson 1 >> > >> >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up >>her >> >shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself >>in a Towel >> >and runs downstairs. >> > >> >When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door >>neighbor. >> >Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop >>that towel." >> >After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands >>naked in >> >Front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. >> > >> >The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When >>she gets >> >to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob >>the next >> >door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, " >...

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No worries, just let me in," said the woman. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman. "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a lift and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and she found herself st...

>> One day, three bankers, a Citibanker, one from HSBC and another from >> Maybank, went for a walk. They were old buddies from >> school, and they >> were remembering the tough old days they went as students >> together. >> >> For no apparent reason, they went into a zoo and passed an elephant. >> >> Being from the same field and the same school, there is little bit of >> peer competition going on, so when he saw this elephant, an >> idea >> clicked the Citibanker, he said to the others "Why don't we >> prove who >> is the best among us?". >> >> The others, of course, agreed. >> >> Then the Citibank said "Let's make a test. Whoever can make this >> elephant laugh, he works for the best Bank". >> >> They all agreed and started. >> >> Being a pure logical strategist, the Citibanker tried to make the >> elephant laugh ...

1) For your information. (FYI) - I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it. 2) For your action. (FYA) - I don't know what to do with this, so I'm passing this shit to you. 3) Noted and returned. - I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it for a little while. 4) Review and comment. - Do the dirty work so that I can forward it and sign off with my name. 5) Action please. - Get yourself involved. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit. 6) For your necessary action. - It's your headache now. Woohoo!!! 7) CC to - Here's a share of the headache. 8) BCC to - I'm telling someone important that I'm working and sharing the headache with you. 9) For your approval, please. - Put your neck on the chopping board for me please. :D 10) Action is being taken and will revert in due time. - I lost your correspondence and still trying to locate it. - I¡¯m busy! Bother me next week!!! 11) Please discuss. - I don't know what this is all about. So...