Jokes Collected From Emails

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs.20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell the...

Dear Sweetheart, I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart Your husband Allen His wife replied back after some days to her husband: Dearest sweetheart, Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details. 1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk. 2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses. 3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent. 4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items........... 5. Other expenses 40 kisses Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance. Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise !!! Your Sweet Heart

An ang moh(Foreigner) touring Hong Kong had been told by his friends back home that one could get really good bargains on cloths but that one would have to be careful. This gentleman went bargain-hunting and chanced upon a well-established shop. When he found a branded shirt that cost half the price of what was being sold back home, he rubbed his hands in glee. Having been warned of cheap shirts, he began to scrutinise the shirt carefully and smiled when he saw a label that was sewn on the shirt. It read " Guarantee No Shrink ". Convinced that he had indeed found a great bargain, he went ahead and bought half a dozen shirts. Back at the hotel, he took out the shirts and sent them to the laundry. He was eager to put them on and see some envious faces in his tour group. When the shirts returned from the hotel laundry, he was shock that all of them had shrunk by at least three sizes ! He looked at the label again ...

> > > > >>> > >>A husband and wife were travelling by car from Key West to > > > > >>> > >>Boston. After almost 24 hours on the road, they're too > > > > >>> > >>tired to continue, and decided to stop for a rest. They > > > > >>> > >>stopped at a nice hotel, but they only planned to sleep > > > > >>> > >>for 4 hours to get back on the road again. > > > > >>> > >> > > > > >>> > >>When they checked out 4 hours later, the desk clerk handed > > > > >>> > >>them a bill for $350. > > > > >>> > >> > > > > >>> > >>The man exploded & demanded to know why the charge was so > > > > >>> > >>high. Below is the interesting arguement. > > > > >>> ...

>>A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a >>particularly >> >>dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple >>of >>dollars for dinner. >> >>The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, >>"If I >>give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of >>dinner?" >> >>"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied. >> >>"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman >>asked >>"No I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. >>"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." >> >>"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman >>asked. >> >>"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair >>done in >...