Here are five funny phone answering machine messages

(a). Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We
can't pick up the phone right now, because we're
doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to
right...real slowly. So leave a message, and when
we're done brushing our teeth we'l! l get back to
you.

(b). Hi, this is John. If you are the phone
company, I've already sent the money. If you are
my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me
enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me
money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money.

(c). Hi, I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding
someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if
I don't call back, it's you.

(d). Please leave a message. However, you have
the right to remain silent. Everything you say
will be recorded and will be used by us.

(e). (Sexy female voice with heavy panting)..
Hi,you've reached 555-3456. John is in... (sigh)
Oh no, he's out... (aah) Yes, he's in again...
(ooh) No he's out... (aah) Why don't you just
leave your name and number and he'll call you as
soon as he...comes

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2 cute boys

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are  probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he  would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the  older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The  preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the  younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "
Read more

discussions on an airplane

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barak Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles. "OK", she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and say
Read more

Wedding night!

Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over, and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!" Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. "Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder". Charles yelled back. "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!" "Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried. Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!" In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!" Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, Go
Read more